Lost! Not Forgotten.

“Cry not when the sun goes down for you will not be able to see the stars past those tears..”

By the breathless and placid lake I sat,
with a book in my hand, thoughts in my head.
The sky was blue and the surrounding fields were green.
And as the wind blew from the waters to the land,
rippling the quiet fluid, fluttering the pages of my book, blowing my hair across my face,
It broke the eerie silence of the thin air into juvenile fragments
and just as it stopped,
from somewhere between the yellow pages of mills and boons,
flew a note…


It dodged me a few meters, the folded 4x4 inch memo...
And before it could sail across the lake, carried away by the mighty zephyrs,
I grabbed it, I crushed it,
I clutched it before I could lose it...
And as I fell on my knees to open the crushed message,
my heart stopped dead, my veins felt lifeless!
For beneath the wrinkles, in neat blue ink,
was the page header, ‘goodbye my lover’

My heart sank the same way,
as it did the very first day, when I read this note...
I still can’t believe, this was your antidote
to all the times we had, sad good and bad...
Tell me, you never meant it when you wrote,
‘I never really loved you!’ At the end of that note.
beause even today,
there is a tremble in your voice, throbs in your vein,
do you not count your moments in my name?
I can feel you miss the way I breathe,
that you hate that you were the bond, which one day was going to burst.
Every time you called me, just only to ask me, ‘baby! Won’t you come back to me?’
Was it for this you wrote that note to me?
Where there is love, there is happiness! Says who??
Cause even if you love me, its not happiness you will see,
but this is how we were meant to be…

Perhaps you never saw,
that all the times that we were through,
I never wanted to disappoint you; I could never let you down.
Every moment, I breathed you, every night I dreamt.
I had taken all the risks; I had taken all the shots,
I literally gave up everything I had got.
For you, I had never ceased to try
A 100 seas I had cried.

But ever since you walked away, I see,
you have been turning back to me from that day!
I know you can’t do without me, I know how much you burn!
But after all that you did to me, baby it’s your turn.
Did you not see, I was never the one to stay?
I will never make the mistake to ever come in your way.
A million words will never bring me back,
You know its enough you have tried!
Neither would a million tears, its enough I have cried.
I will not keep this broken heart from ever mending
and miss out on infinite love that’s never ending
Don’t try to make it all good,
I know I am not misunderstood.
Holding on me wont you strong,
Letting me go definitely would..

So sitting amidst the windy strokes,
I stared at that note...
And with each passing moment,
my grip on the paper loosened.
And yet again, the wind came along,
in the quest to blow away the goodbye song.
But this time round, I chose not to follow.
I watched it hover into the quiet waters
being chased to nothingness...
Within a minute or two,
the note, deep into oblivion it flew
And as It got buried into the perpetual,
Along with it, whatever little we had became exhaustible…
I sat there and cried, cried,
Not because I miss you or I want you,
But I realized, I will be alright without you..

I will never be yours…